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Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer 2013 Schedule
Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer 2013 Schedule
| January 26 | 7:30 am | Time Trial | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
| February 9 | 9:00 am | Enduro Time Trial – Low-Key Series | Paicines General Store in Paicines |
| February 16 | 7:00 am | Time Trial | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
| March 16 | 7:00 am | Time Trial | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
| April 25 | 5:30 pm | Time Trial | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
| May 18 | 7:00 am | Time Trial | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
| June 13 | 5:30 pm | Time Trial | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
| July 20 | 7:00 am | Time Trial | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
| August 15 | 5:30 pm | Time Trial, Raffle Drawing | Cañada Rd., Woodside CA |
Shindig!! Alpine Inn, July 14, 2pm
Aardvark, Rancho Obi-Wan, Light & Motion, Specialized, Ritchey, Snap On, Revolutions in Fitnees, Matadorvino, Bucks, Clean Bottle, … nuff said.
Alpine Inn, Portola Valley, CA – July 14, 2pm
Beat the Clock invites you to the Tour of the Bay Area
With the Tour of CA and the Giro going on, Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer figured, we’d put on our own multi-stage Tour of the Bay Area. OK, it’s not a real stage race and not on subsequent days, but we can guarantee you nearly endless fun for a good cause. All proceeds go to Livestrong.
Stage 1: BTC Canada Time Trial – THIS SATURDAY, May 26
As always, everybody is welcome – TT bikes, fixies, non-aero Merckxs, World Bicycle Relief bikes, Olympians, World Champions, recumbents of all styles, tandems, unicycles, flying sausages, and anything non-motorized with at least one wheel – dead or alive!
Of course, we prefer our participants and volunteers alive, but I suppose if worse comes to worst, we could prop up a few mummies with a flag at the Edgewood intersection. So come on out! If your shifter breaks, no matter, borrow Grandauntie Petunia’s washing machine! We don’t enforce UCI 3:1 rules or measure your sock length. We don’t even care if you eat too much beef. Though out of respect for the organizers of whom at least one is vegetarian, we ask that you bring the meat in already processed form.
Pre-registration only – closing THURSDAY (no exceptions!)
Stage 2: Redwoods to Waves, an epic hike – 25.6 or 15 miles – June 16
We’ll provide fun, lunch and transportation back to the start since this is a one-way hike from Saratoga Gap down to Waddell Beach. This is a hike, not a race, we won’t time you. However, I will personally give away a pair of our fabulous Beat the Clock socks to the person who makes it all the way to the beach with the least amount of blisters. Should you get blisters – do not despair, we’ll provide medical aid and you can always purchase a pair or two of Beat the Clock socks yourself.
Pre-registration ONLY (we need to figure out the transportation logistics) – only about a dozen spots left: https://www.bikereg.com/Net/15863 or http://www.active.com/outdoors/los-gatos-ca/redwoods-to-waves—an-epic-hike-presented-by-beat-the-clock-and-help-beat-cancer-2012
Stage 3: Shindig! Party! Auction! – July 14
Party till you drop and get bicycle and other items for a ridiculously low price. Further details TBA.
Beat the Clock socks are in!
Order yours now – shoot us an email stating your size. $9 a pair, all proceeds go to Livestrong!
You can also order on bikereg while registering for the next time trial – though there we have to increase the price due to the bikereg fee structure.
Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer Socks
Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer partners with World Bicycle Relief
Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer (BTC): Former Team Jelly Belly professional bicycle racer Bernard Van Ulden will ride in the BTC Time Trial series on April 7, 2012 in Woodside, CA. The series attracts new riders, local racers, state, national, and world champions. Former Olympians and retired professional racers participate and volunteer to help raise money to fight cancer.
Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer has been raising funds for the Livestrong Foundation since 2005. This year, Beat the Clock is partnering with World Bicycle Relief to raise awareness of the improvements to independence and livelihood created by access to bicycle transportation throughout the world.
How to Participate:
- Register to ride in the time trial series – whether you are a brand new rider or an experienced racer:
Event dates left in the 2012 season are: April 7, May 26, July 7 and September 22. - Hike in our upcoming Redwood to Waves Hike on Saturday, June 16, 2012
- Donate to Livestrong via Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer
- Visit World Bicycle Relief
- Volunteer at a BTC time trial or hike
Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer Holiday Gift Idea
Are you searching for the perfect holiday gift this year for your colleagues, friends, and/or family? Look no further!
Holiday Gift - Custom Wine Bottle
John Novitsky, former multiple National Time Trial Champion and wine maker has generously donated 12 bottles of his 2010 Chardonnay (with custom labels) to Beat the Clock to help kick off our 2012 fund raising efforts.
This is a truly personalized and unique gift. In addition to the uniqueness of the wine (and wine maker), you get to design the label to give it your own personalized touch! This makes a great gift for someone who has recently celebrated a major achievement, milestone or adventure.
Do not delay! These are going to go fast—and all artwork will need to be received by December 10th (in order to get you your personalized wine bottle before Xmas).
Because all of our efforts and money are for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, we are asking for a donation of $40 per bottle.
The first 12 people to email us with “I WANT WINE” in the subject line, will have the opportunity to send in your donation (via PayPal) and receive further instructions for submitting design label and pick-up options.
More information (from John) about his wine, including recommended food pairings can be found below. Learn more about the custom label too.
Thanks for supporting Beat the Clock and Help Beat Cancer!
Wine Description
It’s 100% Chardonnay 2010, grown in a vineyard above Aptos at about 1200 feet elevation on a west facing slope. The grapes were harvested at 23.2 Brix, underwent primary and malolactic fermentation, and aged for 8 months in French oak, medium toast.
Body: medium to heavy mouth feel for a Chardonnay.
Flavors: Partially minerally. It’s not a fruit forward Chardonnay, it’s not buttery. It’s not vegetal, but there are elements of all of those that you will pick up – plus the vanilla from the Fr oak.
Suggested food pairings: Most importantly, pair it with good friends. Due to this wine’s weight, you can pair it with something with olive oil (or butter if you prefer). A baked or pan fried/seared fish (in olive oil), with some kind of coating (herbs + flour or one of the other alternatives), even a lightly grilled chicken, plus some grilled fresh veggies using olive oil, some fresh bread dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar with fresh ground salt – sounds like the prologue to a memorable evening.
Custom Labels
You choose the picture and send along a .jpeg file that will be scaled to fit the 3″x4″ front label of the bottle. You can send 2-4 sentences for the back label (see examples below)
Example of something fun for the back label verbiage:
“This photo is from the BTC team time trial on 6/22/08. The four riders are Lance Armstrong, Eddie Merckx, Levi Leipheimer and Brian Tapscott. Brian anchored this team to a course record of the TTT in 21′ 14″. Afterwards, the team went to the Dutch Goose, closed the bar and needed to call cabs to get home. A most memorable ride that we all wished we could remember.”
New post over at the Beat the Clock blog
Livestrong Challenge Davis: Live commentary by Lill Phigget and Rob Boll
Reverse-Us was live at the Livestrong Challenge Davis, Lill Phigget and Rob Boll provided commentary of the action.
[Tweedeledee tweedeledum…]
Rob Boll: Welcome to the Livestrong Challenge Davis, the premiere cycling event in the US. What an incredible atmosphere as over 1400 riders prepare to take on this challenging race.
Lill Phigget: We are here live at the start in this incredible town, where the race is about to get underway. And Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong leads them out from the start line with an incredible sprint as he rolls down the start ramp!
Rob Boll: Team Fatty immediately takes the lead and completely blocks the road rolling along at tremendous speeds up to 5 miles per hour. Team Beat the Clock is frantically fighting for position behind them.
Lill Phigget: Watch out for cancer survivor Liz Benishin of Team Beat the Clock, as she expertly squeezes through spaces that are not even there.
Rob Boll: And the first break has formed. A group of 8 riders has gone clear of the peloton.
Lill Phigget: I see Liz Benishin in this group, as well as her Beat the Clock teammate Sue Walker, no wait, Carola Berger, and 2 riders of Team Cedaron. Other important riders are in this group as well whose names I cannot remember at the moment.
Rob Boll: Can they stay ahead of the charging peloton led by Team Fatty? We will find out when we come back after the break.
[Tweedeledee tweedeledum…]
Lill Phigget: We are now 35 miles into the race. The break of 8 riders has caught the lead group who was led out by Lance Armstrong just before the first categorized climb of the day. The lead group is now 9 riders strong as some of the leaders have turned off onto the 70-mile route.
Rob Boll: Two climbers of Team Livestrong and Team 28 as well as 3 others whose names I cannot remember at the moment have gone clear.
Lill Phigget: Team Cedaron and Team Beat the Clock look like they are in serious trouble. They are unable to follow the acceleration as the leaders remain cool as cucumbers on the climb.
Rob Boll: True, but the chase group reminds me more of molten Tzatziki…
Lill Phigget: Can they catch up on the descent? We will find out when we come back after the break.
[Tweedeledee tweedeledum…]
Lill Phigget: We are now 60 miles into the race. The lead group of 5 have disappeared up the road, as a chase group of 2 riders each of Team Celeron and Team Beat the Clock are struggling up the hors category climb of the day.
Rob Boll: The chase group seems to have lost their climbing legs completely, as they make their way up the climb like a horde of suffocating walrus.
Lill Phigget: Oh no, a gravely serious mechanical for Carola Berger!!! It seems her jersey zipper broke off. This puts a serious dent in Team Beat the Clock’s ambitions.
Rob Boll: She is now standing sparsely clad at the side of the road. Mechanics gather frantically around her as she motions her team leader Liz Benishin to go on without her.
Lill Phigget: Can they catch back on to the lead group? We will find out when we come back after the break.
[Tweedeledee tweedeledum…]
Lill Phigget: Sorry, we missed the finish of the lead group as we were chatting with Livestrong representatives in the Michelob beer tent. The chase group is coming in as we speak.
Rob Boll: And here comes Sue Walker, Sue is pounding on the pedals with her last breath. Sueeee Waaaalker is crossing the finish line in 6th place. 6th place for Sue Walker!!! Suuueee Walker!!!! What an incredible finish for Suuueeee Waaalker!!!
Lill Phigget: I thought that was Carola Berger.
Rob Boll: My notes say Sue Walker.
Lill Phigget: Who wrote your notes?
Rob Boll: I don’t know.
Lill Phigget: Sure looked like Carola Berger to me. No wonder she looked a bit gobsmacked as she crossed the finish line. In any case, here comes Team Cedaron closely followed by Liz Benishin. Team Fatty is nowhere to be seen.
Rob Boll: Goooo Liiiiz!
Lill Phigget: This concludes our live coverage from the Livestrong Challenge Davis presented by Reverse-Us. What an incredible day! Join us for our live coverage at the Ride for the Roses. Until then, see you in the beer tent.
Rob Boll: Drink responsibly.
[Tweedeledee tweedeledum…]
The Beat the Clock Conspiracy Reloaded
At the end of August 2009, CFBNews uncovered what is now known as the Beat the Clock Conspiracy with the goal of total time trial world domination. CFBNews has now uncovered new evidence of heightened Beat the Clock activity in 2010.
According to new information, Patt Baenen-Tapscott, Beat the Clock mastermind, is now breeding French Bull Terriers and exposing them to snow to stimulate hair growth. 
Doping specialist DDr. B. L. Bonds informed CFBNews that bull terrier hair is especially suited for harvesting dog hair extract, also known as DHE, a questionable but highly volatile substance said to possess performance enhancing effects. These performance enhancing effects have not been scientifically verified, however, the World Anti-Dog Agency is considering adding DHE to its “watch list”. Furthermore, Mrs. Baenen-Tapscott continues to sell BtC DeFeet Compression socks which are banned by the international cycling union, UCI, for use during UCI-sanctioned events, cf. regulation 3,203,104,092.1234 paragraph XYZ subsection 2beta appendix Ilostcount.
Another BtC operative stationed on the East Coast was seen retrofitting her Cervelo time trial machine with white bar tape and white tires, which can mean only one thing: intention to break the speed limit. The suspect denied everything when interrogated by the Department of Color Security, citing severe color-coordination issues with her new team outfit, the NorthEast Icicle Club Women’s Elite Team. An unlikely excuse, considering the first law of Chromo-Chronodynamics: Any human-powered vehicle with a color content of at least 30% white, operator and vehicle combined, will experience catastrophic failure when its speed falls below 20mph. 
Another key BtC operative, Peter Tapscott, recently experienced the consequences of said law of Chromo-Chronodynamics when his aluminum crankarm spontaneously self-destructed on a training ride. Mr. Tapscott was wearing the predominantly white CA state champion uniform and was moving at approximately 5mph on an incline at the time of failure.
All of the above and prior evidence combined, however, is not yet enough to make any arrests. Nevertheless, the Cycling Intelligence Agency has alerted local authorities and will continue its investigation. Although further appearances of flying sausages seem unlikely, officials have confirmed to CFBNews that security will be increased in key residential areas, such as stop signs.
On the following dates hula and Beat the Clock activity can be expected:
February 13 (Canada road)
March 20 (Canada road)
May 29 (Canada road)
June 26 (Hellyer track)
July 31 (Canada road)
August 28 (Canada road)
Stay tuned for new information on the Beat the Clock conspiracy as it unfolds.
The Beat the Clock Conspiracy
The Beat the Clock Conspiracy
After reports of vigorous hula activity on Canada road in Woodside, CA, at the beginning of August, CFBNews began to investigate what is now known as the Beat the Clock conspiracy. 
Here is how the story unfolded.
Aside from the reported suspicious hula activity on that early weekend in August, 2x Olympian Christine Thorburn was seen enhancing her auditory system by attaching a set of panda ears at the start line of a supposedly harmless charity event known as the Beat the Clock time trial series.
Despite intensive investigation no new evidence could be uncovered until this past weekend, when hula activity increased again dramatically at both ends of Canada road. Upon sightings of flying sausages followed by bottles of mustard and other AL-iens, local Woodside residents fled the scene in panic in their private helicopters. 
The tension increased further when Beat the Clock CEO Patt Baenen-Tapscott announced that several personal records had been broken in this weekend’s event. Patt Baenen-Tapscott was also seen selling performance enhancing products such as Beat the Clock compression socks which are banned by the UCI for use during competition. Furthermore, after intensive water torture by agent Danny and threats of further washouts by hurricane Diddly, an unidentified grace laborer in Massachusetts confessed to rigging the start list such that several key Beat the Clock athletes were in optimal condition in this recent event.
Putting all the information together, it is now clear that Beat the Clock aims at total time trial world domination. Beat the Clock athletes have already successfully infiltrated the medal ranks in regional, district and US national championships in both road and track events. And although Beat the Clock activity has supposedly ceased for 2009, 2010 events are already in the intensive planning stage. An insider in the Baenen-Tapscott household will supply further information exclusively to CFBNews in exchange for gourmet doggy treats.
Stay tuned for new information on the Beat the Clock conspiracy as it unfolds.
Thanks everybody for participating and volunteering in 2009 and another record fundraising amount going to the Lance Armstrong Foundation — no worries, Beat the Clock will be back!!
Radfoan 